To Middle Earth, Part II: To Taupo! (via Coromandel)

I begin this episode of What Did Andy Do To Cause Others To Laugh At Him with a confession. I’m an aspiring rugby fan. For those of you unfamiliar with the game, there’s a field where a bunch of players run into each other, with fervent aggression, until everyone dies of injuries/bludgeoning. There is allegedly a ball involved, and most likely some sort of scoring system, but I’ve covered the basics and the parts people really care about. When it comes to rugby, there are teams and then there’s The Team: the All Blacks, New Zealand’s national rugby team. Imagine if you will a group of men the size of small hatchbacks, hell bent on causing you bodily harm. Your only defense against them? Aside from the sheer human will to live, not much, just some blokes who have run some drills with you who also do not have pads. Then it begins. The haka. Haka is a Maori word that, loosely translated, means “Ha, you guys read the rules about the ball and the scoring while we practiced tackling and infliction. This will end badly for you.” There’s simply nothing like it. Observe the haka against the French, who you’ll notice are wearing white and holding hands: All Blacks Haka As we wish our French readers well as they leave offended, we move on to New Zealand’s match against Australia on August 24th in Wellington. Had I used Planning, I would’ve realized that this was happening and booked my… read more


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